Hello again everyone, welcome back to Sirius Affiliate. Today I’m Going to give you my experience with and perspective on motivational speakers and why they can actually end up having the opposite effect. I will also be giving you my personal insight into what I believe a lot of motivational preachers and speakers overlook.
Now I am aware of, and personally, appreciate certain speakers like TD. Jakes, Les Brown and Bob Proctor who do in my opinion provide much deeper perspectives on the reality of self-motivation and creating our dreams. However, there are many speakers who are in my opinion nothing more than aggressive tyrants and salesmen trying to guilt you into buying their book, training or attend their £1000+ conference on the other side of the world so you can get the full experience of their….well whatever it is they claim to offer.
More Like Egotational Speakers
Yes I did just invent that word, but I will explain what I mean. So when initially began watching motivational videos around age 15 (i’m 22 now), this was around the same time my existential crisis began. The initial effect of these videos served to add passion and fire to my life in helping me to create a life that the motivational speakers were telling me I should have.
I had achieved a good bit of success for myself for a small period by working to buy my own car and hold down a full time job during my gap year from college (I was only 16-17 at the time). Around this time a lot of my friends were still in college complaining about a lack of money and the issues it bought. So you can Imagine the ego of superiority that I began to exude…
Now, I did not realize it at the time, but my continual watching of motivational videos alongside the little achievements I’d done for myself, my ego began to make me feel that I was better than my friends and even family. For they were settling for a boring lifestyle, whilst I was grinding to create my dreams. Mainly spurred on by Eric Thomas aka (cookie gut) videos who some of you may know.
So as you can probably guess by now, when I say “egotational speakers” I mean that there is a big possibility and risk of your ego becoming over-inflated and feeling superior to others, simply for the fact that others around me weren’t watching these videos.
You Still Want To Watch Motivational Videos
So you still want to watch the videos because they make you feel good about yourself, but they sometimes also shine a light on you for things you don’t do that you know you should be doing. So your ego gets a reverse psychology boost to itself thinking… “ahh look, how I know the things I do that are not helpful, but others around me don’t know these things, therefore I am better than them.“
That’s just how my mind works, you and yours might be completely different, but I am just sharing my personal experience.
I would suggest if you do insist on watching any type of motivational videos, try to find the full lectures/speeches as the uploaded clips that we can find on YouTube tends to just be compilations of really nice sounding clips of speech, usually with a completely unrelated video clip playing along with it.
I do actually appreciate these types of videos for the fact they showcase that a lot of people have a high level of creativity and ability to edit and create visually appealing videos, but for the sake of motivation they are ineffective in the long term, i’ll now explain why.
Why Motivational Videos Are Not Effective Long Term
Motivational speeches an videos tend to leave out the important and deeper aspects of what it takes to actually create your dreams. If you haven’t already read my post on how to know what you want in life, you can check it out here for more detail.
I remember there was an Audio-book I downloaded on audible from a speaker who is extremely well known, mainly for his physical stature and odd voice (IMO). This book was to do with relationships and how to get past roadblocks in them. Whilst this book was extremely helpful to me, I arrived to a chapter in the book where If i wanted to have the full information I would have to pay another £250+ to access the full book…which actually left me completely baffed and feeling violated. In fact since that occurrence I have not listened to anything from that particular speaker.
In my own experience what I have found is that a lot of speakers make success seem like you need to become a tyrant to yourself by using your mind to kick and bully yourself into taking action and overcoming roadblocks.
This definitely works as a way to initially have a dose of reality that then opens your awareness to the things you do/don’t do which are sabotaging your chances for success. But for the long term I’ve found in my personal experience that this initial flash of reality can be easily morphed by the ego, with the effect of making you feel like…”well now I know about all these things that I am doing wrong, and I see others doing this. I can develop these habits of successful people so that I can create my own success.” Not realizing that your mind has actually pulled the wool over your eyes, and the more likely reason for you adopting these new habits is for the boosting your ego/self-image and to get a certain respect from others, rather than to make an actual change. (It was for me at least)
Motivational speakers tend not to explain the fact that they had a lot of inner work to do in terms of shedding old beliefs, unhealed traumas etc. Some of the few genuine speakers I have heard are guys like Les Brown, Bob Proctor, Victor Oddo, and Elliot Hulse as they really get down to the bones of what is needed to achieve your highest self.
The other speakers will reel you in with nice positive talk about how you can achieve all of your dreams, and take advantage of the fact that humans have something called mirror neurons which help us feel what the others are feeling.
They hype you up into thinking that you can live the life that they have created (playing on your envy and desires), and then they will ask you to commit some more of your money to them so that you can get the full package or experience of life they describe.
At the end of the day, Motivational speakers are nothing more than salesmen and women who have figured out how to play on your needs to add more to their own pocket, whilst still adding some value to your life. But at the end of the day the speakers are the winners and you are left wanting more of whatever they “offer”.
Can I Create My Dreams Without Buying Their Programmes?
The simple answer is YES!
This is a slightly hard concept to explain, however spending time in quiet contemplation about yourself, your life, and why you do certain things can really help to open your abilities to understand how, or why you do certain things. Maybe you have habits that you don’t like, for example, smoking. No matter how hard you try you can’t stop smoking, even though it does you no good in the long term, and you make resolutions to stop, yet you keep falling back into the habit and disappointing yourself.
A lot of us struggle with breaking old habits and heal old wounds, but we also go about doing it the wrong way. Rather than trying to understand why we do what we do, and working inside ourselves to create a new more improved self-image to pursue. We take the route prescribed by lot of motivational speakers which is to just bully ourselves into taking action.
Like I said before, this can be effective at certain times of our life but on a consistent basis if you constantly fill your mind with thoughts like this you will eventually create a situation where you lose motivation to chase your goals, and you spend the majority of your time stuck in your head antagonizing and beating yourself up over the things you procrastinate on doing, rather than just taking action to create and get what you want in your life.
Here are some of the practical things that we need to deal with in order to create lasting success. For some these steps may be less relevant, but for others it may be more necessary to address these aspects.
- Healing of Your Psyche
- Healing of any past emotional trauma
- Developing control over your lower urges. (Not being controlled by your sexual, envious, greedy, aggressive aspects)
- Become aware of the natural laws of nature and how to use them. (the vessel in which the truth arrives may be different for each person. For the truth can appear in different ways based on the perspective you are looking at it from. )
In my opinion it would be a lot harder to create any long lasting success without addressing these points (if you feel you need to).
However, from my observations of successful individuals they tend to eventually become consumed by and even die from some form of unhealthy coping mechanism for their unresolved emotional/psychological traumas. Some examples being Amy Winehouse, Robin Williams, L’Wren Scott and so many more who didn’t know how to get out of their internal suffering.
I believe that many people suffer with issues like this, and unfortunately don’t know how to escape the prison of their minds.
I myself have struggled with this, and still do. In fact of late these issues have intensified themselves, however I do believe they have intensified so that I can begin dealing with the issues rather than continue to repress them.
How Does One Heal Themselves?
From what I have observed, there are many ways to heal emotional truma and clean out the skeletons of your closet.
Some of these methods may be classed as taboo, or even witchcraft depending on the culture you come from, however If you want to make progress in your life, at the end of the day you will need to drop the part of you that cares about how others see you, and maintaining the stories you’ve told yourself and others about yourself.
Some of the methods I am ware of:
- Shadow Work
- Ayahuasca Ceremonies
- Devotion to developing your skill in some physical craft or passion. (Boxing, Yoga football, gym, Cycling, painting, dancing etc)
- Religious practice (Whichever religion/pathway religion you most resonate with)
- Wim Hof Method
As with anything in life, a lot of these things can be abused and used to inflate your ego if you are not mindful in your process. However the above mentioned methods are only a few of MANY methods available. If none of the methods above stand out or resonate with you, that is fine. You will eventually find a way that is compatible with you and your personality.
Are There Any Spekers I can Listen To?
At the end of the day, you can listen to whoever you want to. My point with this post is basically to highlight the importance of moderation, balanced with taking your own time to think, and figure out what it is YOU TRULY WANT.
Some of the few genuine people I personally resonate with are Les Brown, Bob Proctor, Victor Oddo, Elliot Hulse, and Christina Lopes to name a few as they really get down to the bones of what is needed to achieve your highest self, and heal the memories and parts of ourselves that we repress and reject.
In conclusion, I believe that we all have a choice in the things we do, and what we choose to feed our minds with.
We all resonate with different people, different styles, and different ways of being. There is no ONE WAY for everyone. This is a lie that has developed in our collective consciousness mainly inspired by dogmatic religious leaders.
At the end of the day, you are in charge of what you listen to and how often you listen to it. My hope from this post, is that you at least take some time to contemplate your current mental state, and try to figure out why you are how you are or think how you think. And Make whatever changes you feel are necessary to improve things for yourself and your life.
Thank you for taking your valuable time to read today. If you think i have missed anything, or have experiences of your own that you’d like to share, feel free to leave a comment below.